Does this pregnancy make me look fat?

Yeah, I've been keeping this life altering event on the DL the last six weeks because I didn't want to miscarry and then have to retract previous statements. Since (HOPEFULLY *crosses fingers*) the miscarry part won't happen, I can now shed light on the highs and lows of pregnancy. Well, keep in mind that the first trimester is supposed to be the hardest...so that means mostly lows.

The most surprising thing that has changed: how I eat and what I eat. Since I was nauseous every day, most of the day throughout the first trimester, the nausea affected what I ate. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, made me want to throw up. I'm a huge spaghetti fan and the thought of it made me search for a bucket. So the way I dealt with the nausea was to lie still and not think about it. Then, when it seemed like my stomach wasn't making me wonder if the nausea would ever end, I would think about food. What about XYZ?? No, makes me sick. ZYX?? Sick.

The one thing that didn't make me want to wretch: Taco Bell. I know, Taco Bell. The place that made rats celebrities was the only place that made me think "Wow, I can eat again!"

The time when I'm supposed to be eating leafy greens, whole grains, and just all the yummies to ensure non-flippered children, I have been eating questionable meat with factory raised everything. And it was delicious.

The few people that I had told about my pregnancy (don't worry you guys, I had to tell them. My nausea affected me so much in the morning, I had to tell my boss why I was slumped over and then had to rush into the bathroom to dry heave for a while) and of those, the ones that had been pregnant, completely agreed with me. It was better that I eat whatever I thought I could than try and choke down some arugula and then possibly threw it up*. That was comforting.

We have cancelled the CSA since my desire of eating anything is so unpredictable. Our last order: I did nothing with it. Nothing. I was so tired and then nauseous, and then both that I didn't have the energy or the clearness of mind to think about it.

Because of all of this laying around and eating junk, I have probably put on more weight than I'm supposed to this early on. 9 weeks in, I had to get maternity pants. My other pants and skirts (anything with a button, basically) was causing so much pressure, I had to walk around with them unbuttoned under my clothes. The maternity pants are a God send though. So comfortable. My jeans are the only ones that I'm not 100% satisfied with but as I get bigger, I'm sure I won't care.

The upside: I feel 1,000,000 times better now and I've been more active. I actually think I've lost some weight (maybe not). But at the point when I thought "I can't go on with this nausea, I can't do it anymore" I woke up the next day with none. Thinking it a fluke, I wasn't too optimistic. Next day: none. Yeah!!

Another downside: I think I'm going to have to get my wedding ring resized. I had to shove it on my finger this morning and now, can't get it off. *sigh*

Another upside and downside: my boobs are big. Swollen, but bigger. You know, that's only an upside for people who care about the bigness of my boobs. Me: don't care. Boo!!

Upside: I have an image of what my baby will look like!

I've eaten so much of it, I wouldn't be surprised.

* I never did try to choke down a healthier option. I hate throwing up, HATE IT. And nothing was going to make me choke something down. I would rather not eat. And to date: haven't thrown up. Huzzah!